Diva Taunia's Backstage Pass Official Blog

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SO HERE'S THE SKINNY ON MY FAT

Ok, let's get something clear right out the gate:  I am not, nor will I ever, be PREGNANT.   That would be a miracle by the sweet baby Jesus himself for two reasons:  1) I'm almost FORTY and in peri menopause, and 2) Rob cannot make any babies anymore, you dig?  So there.  NOT. PREGNANT.  But thank you so much for asking, really makes a fat girl feel good.  :)

And speaking of fat, I guess there's no more pretending:  yep, I gained weight.  A lot of it.  Back when I was sickest and at my lowest weight, all of my doctors told me they wanted me to put back 20 lbs. I did better:  I gained almost 35.  I weigh 170-ish lbs, and seeing that number on the scale KILLS ME.

The thing is, I'm not sure it's entirely my fault.  (I mean, my guess is that the chips I've been devouring on a regular basis are not helping things.)  Back in Jan/Feb, I was put on two new medications, one of which is known for rapid weight gain and bloat.    It took me almost a year and half to get to the doctor's recommended 20 lbs, and it took me less than two months to put on the rest with the help of the meds.  Yippee!  I'm fat again!

When I hit 160 lbs, I felt good.  I felt strong, and I felt voluptuous.  Now?  I just feel sluggish and fat. And I CANNOT. STOP. EATING.  I'm hungry ALL THE TIME.  And while I still have plenty of restriction, I also have almost ZERO intolerances and I can eat just about anything.

Take a gander at the regain process:

ME - CIRCA 2009, at my lowest (and sickest) weight:

ME - FEBRUARY 11, 2011 - LIKING MY WEIGHT AND MY BOD:

ME -  MAY 12th, 2011:

Granted, a lot of my weight gain is in my boobies, which Rob would argue is a good thing, but I HATE this weight.  I'm terrified.  I don't want to go back to 311 lbs, and I feel completely helpless.  I dance DAILY.  I'm exercising more than I ever have, and I'm only maintaining (barely).  I can't stop eating, and I can't stop thinking about food constantly.  It's all back, just in a smaller package.  

I thought by ignoring it and taking pictures at good angles that no one would find out.  That somehow I could magically take the weight off and no one would know.  Well, having a very public wedding with a gazillion pics online will slap the truth right on to ya.  I was called out as looking pregnant on my music page, and that there was a big dose of reality for me. So here it is: my admission, and it hurts and is hard for me, so don't make it worse...mmmmkay?

Accountability has always been my saving grace, so maybe "going public" about it will help me resolve it.  I'm working with my doctors to adjust my medications, and I've got appts with my kidney specialists in the next few weeks, so maybe we'll figure some stuff out that will help.  But you know what else will help?  If I stop eating.  Constantly.

God Bless, Rob.  He puts up with my crazy, loves me at any weight, and supports me no matter what.

I'm just thankful for the other people before me that openly spoke and wrote about re-gain, so that I know I'm not alone and there is hope for conquering it.  Thank you, you know who you are.

So here begins another very public battle with my weight....

THE COMFORT ZONE OF SOME AMAZING WOMEN (AND MEN)

I know I just did a recap of Vegas yesterday, but I purposely left this segment out because I thought it was too important to just lump in with everything else from the weekend.  I know some amazing women, and much to-do should be made about all of them after this weekend.  :)

NOTE:  I would also like to thank Bariatric Advantage for sponsoring the Saturday night event!

As much as I try to downplay the "Diva" part of my name, much of what being a Diva is true for me.  I love to perform.  I love the spotlight.  I am a perfectionist when it comes to performing - not only for myself, but for others.  When I see talent in people, I tend to push them.  That often times gets me in trouble, but it's a gamble I'm willing to take, and a selfish one at that.  You see, there's  NOTHING that makes me happier in life than seeing someone come alive on stage.   And I'm not talking in the generic American Idol Big Giant Commercialized Voice way, I'm talking about becoming alive.

One of my proudest achievements is this burlesque group, The Diva Taunia Dolls Burlesque.  I take great pride in it because our doors are open to anyone and everyone who wants to experience it.  All shapes, all sizes, all races, all religions, all genders, all sexual preference.  EVERYONE is welcome here, in whatever capacity is comfortable for them.  Sometimes that means helping out with props, sometimes that means a huge vocal number, sometimes it means being part of a group number.  It doesn't really matter - we encourage participation in individualized ways, and I'm extraordinarily proud of that.

This past weekend, I saw a group of peers - amazing, beautiful, and talented women - step outside of their comfort zone and join our group.   There were lots of  "Holy shit, WTF am I doing!?"  moments, but there were also, "I'm challenging myself to do something new," moments.  And isn't that what life is all about?  LIVING IT?  So here, while I risk getting myself in trouble, I want to applaud some amazing women for the ballsy and fierce dancing in our show this past weekend:

ALL PHOTOS © Bethography / Melting Mama

LeAnne / Army Wife

First, I'd like to thank LeAnne again for her generous donation to the WLSFA, which won her a spot in the show.   LeAnne and I live hundreds of miles away from each other, so she learned this number entirely from video tutorials that she worked on with diligence.  She told me this was completely out of her comfort zone, which is why I was even more happy when she asked me the day of the show, "Did you bring some fishnets for me?"  :)   She told me that she had made this costume for her daughter, and now it fit her....and she looked like one foxy drill sergeant!  I was so proud of her for dancing her ass off and embracing it.  And really?  That smile says it all.

Kateria

I met Kateria for the first time at our Board meeting on Friday morning - and instant friend!  LOVE HER!  I said, "you have to be in my show," and she said, "ok."  Didn't even bat an eyelash!  Showed up at rehearsal at my room, I gave her this dress (which I LOVE , but it looked so hella cute on her that I let her keep it), and she danced her ass off!  I love anyone who jumps into life with so much energy
and happiness.  She's an amazing gal.

 

Toni & Lynnda / Bariatric TV.com 

 To be fair, Lynnda and Toni are not entirely new to performing, per se - I mean, they DO host Bariatric TV, but burlesque was definitely new for them. Generally, the word burlesque instills fear into the hearts of most women.  Still, Toni and Lynnda had talked about doing things out of their comfort zone, and they led by example - working the dance floor into a frenzy!  
I don't think I can even put into words how much I love these two gals.  They are the real-deal:  open, honest, friendly, and just honest to goodness good people.  (Mike gets a shoutout here for the same reasons - such an overall great group of people that I've been fortunate enough to become friends with!)

 

Beth / Melting Mama

 Let's be honest:  if anyone had reason to be nervous about getting onstage, it was Beth.  Being friends with Beth is a funny thing:  she's always surrounded by controversy, and for as many friends as she has, she also has enemies.  A lot of people don't like what she has to say at times, and she is much braver than me in that she doesn't censor herself.  The thing that I love about Beth is this:  you don't have to share her opinion.  Often times, I don't, and she knows that...but still?  We're friends.    I think we share the thought process that as long as you stand your ground with honesty, we're cool.   Beth is honest, and sometimes that isn't pretty.  But look at her here:  she really IS pretty.  Beautiful, really.

It took a LOT for her to get up onstage, and for that, she should be applauded.  She did it.  AND she did it in a tutu and corset.  The gal has balls to the gazillionth, even though I know she' ll readily tell me that she was scared to death.  So bravo, MM, you rocked that stage.  You OWNED it.

My Husband

I'm a lucky girl.  Here is a guy that has never been onstage before, and I forced him to 1) dance and 2) host the entire show.  This is how much he loves me....he did it for me.   He was petrified, but he did it, and I think he did a fantastic job.  As we watched the video from that night, I was beaming with pride.  He'd never hosted anything before, and was:) forced to fill time between costume changes and was really able to create funny and entertaining banter to stall.  I think he's a natural performer, and he admitted to me that he now has the performing bug.  It's going around, baby.   And thank you to all of you for making Rob feel so welcome, and making his stage time less scary and more fun. 

And lastly?  All  my regular cast member Dolls.  

I'm not going to include pictures because 1) you can see them on our website and 2) I have to respect privacy for their regular daytime lives.  But something important to know about these women:  none are professional dancers or singers.  Most have taken the stage for either the first time ever, or the first time in years.  I am extremely lucky because they are all my friends, and they would all give me the shirt off their backs.  (And not just because they were stripping out of it.)  They are executives, creative directors, counselors, flight attendants, career professionals, and just outstanding, amazing women  

For me to watch them onstage - to see them come alive, create, control, and empower their lives - it's something that I wish I could bottle up for everyone to experience.  And yes, I realize that sounds very dramatic and mushy-gushy, but it's the truth.  These are incredible women - all of them the entire cast (And men!  We have incredible men in our cast as well), and I am honored to share the stage, rehearsal space, laughter, and fatigue with all of them.  Thank you for making my life better, my life fuller, and my life more beautiful.  xoxo

 

YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT SOME SEXY

Going to Vegas?  If you pass up this deal, then you ARE CERTIFIABLY INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE!  

Allison is practically GIVING away sexy photo shoots, and if you've always wanted a boudoir-style picture of yourself, here's your chance!   Allison is also on Facebook HERE if you'd like to connect with her directly, but here are all the details you need, courtesy of the WLSFA.org website.  So, go!  Go now, and book thee some sexy time!

CONTACT INFO:

Allison and Andrea
Forever & Always Beautiful
www.ForeverAndAlwaysBeautiful.com
[email protected]
Allison Phone:  850-225-9196

$100 for hair, makeup, and photo shoot.
To include 3 outfit changes, a 45 minute shoot time, and 20 edited photos on disk.
Each photo and edit will be $2.50 there after.
Each extra outfit change will be $5
Good for the WLSFA Las Vegas Meet & Greet May 12-16, 2011 Only
Individual Shoot (for one person)

**Vegas sign up form and schedule**
$25 non-refundable deposit due at booking
Fellow WLS Peeps Allison Davis & Andrea Hickman or Forever & Always Beautiful will be offering Boudoir photo shoots during the Mother of All Meet & Greet!and they are donating 10% of the proceeds to the WLSFA. This is great opportunity to take those romantic, glamorous those photos you have always wanted!
Don’t have the money $$$ to pay for the photo shoot? We have GREAT NEWS! Forever & Always has Donated 1 Free photo Shoot to our Raffle! Click Here for Raffle details and buy a ticket TODAY!

http://www.foreverandalwaysbeautiful.com/index.html

**How to book a photo session
There is a $25.00 non-refundable booking fee.
**10% of all proceeds go back to the WLSFA to support their on going mission**

Click Here To Sign Up ONLINE!!!
You can also:
Call: 850-225-9196 And speak to Allison directly
Email: [email protected]

Shoots will be booked on a first come, first serve basis.
Please book early to reserve your preferred time slot.
Don’t want to miss any of the conference?
Choose a day before or day after the conference!

What you need to bring/how to:

What do I need to do after I book my appointment? What do I bring? What do I expect? Everyone is full of questions once they take the big step to booking an appointment.

At F.A.B. Photos this is what we need to make your shoot simply fabulous;

1) Bring your own foundation make-up. Creme or liquid is best. It’s already matched to your skin tone so we won’t have to search for your perfect color.

2) Bring your own mascara, preferably in black. Everyone knows its best not to share mascara, and the throw away brushes pump air and the bacteria it carries into the tube anyway. Why risk it?

3) Bring a set or two of false lashes. Any brand, any style. One more natural and one a little more fun. You may not want to bring Halloween style lashes, but if you really love them, we will do our best to make them work. This helps give your eyelashes a boost and make your eyes stand out a bit better in the photos.

4) Your outfit choices. Your choices speak to your tastes, and that of your mate. They should express what you and your significant other find appealing. Bring items that make you feel and look good. Bras, panties, corset sets, wedding veils and garters, baby dolls and thigh highs are all recommended. But boudoir isn’t limited to teddies and high heels. Sports jerseys, guitars, and snow gear is just as alluring to those that enjoy those past times! Let your imagination wander!
Clothing should all be tried on before you come to the shoot. For larger busted ladies its best to have great support around your bust so as you don’t have the shoulder straps cutting into your shoulders during the shoot (it doesn’t look pretty either). Try to vary the colors you choose, all your photos in black, white and red can be monotonous. Remember jewelry! Although we have a lovely selection of accessories, it doesn’t always make up for those beautiful pearls your honey gave you for your anniversary being left out of the pictures he unwraps on Christmas.. Shoes! High heels and boots of varying lengths are always a plus and not all shots will be with you on your back. Heels will give you some added definition in standing shots.
–

Allison and Andrea
Forever & Always Beautiful
www.ForeverAndAlwaysBeautiful.com
[email protected]
850-225-9196 -Allison

 

 

TAKE THE PLEDGE : MAKE EVERYTHING NEW. RIGHT NOW.

In our little world, our little community, I think I'm mostly considered a "good girl,"  and I'm glad.  I really work hard to remain neutral, to stay out of disagreements, to work hard and to work towards a common goal.  I think on the whole, I'm able to accomplish this.   I don't like being wrapped up in drama, and I don't like to single people out and/or make any decisions ABOUT them based soly on online interactions.  People are more than the words they write online, they are more than their opinions alone.  And personally, I strive to like everyone equally until they give me a really solid reason not to.  

So as I sat here getting heated about all the ridiculous antics going on, I realized that getting upset, that posting my opinions on Facebook, Twitter, etc. only fuel the fire.  I don't want to participate in that behavior.  I want people to speak and think freely, and to be able to that openly and with courage and passion.   So my mission became instant:  pledge to work together.  This is primarily directed at the weight loss surgery and obesity community, but really?  Anyone.

I want kindness, support, and unity in a cause to spread like wildfire just as quickly as gossip, backstabbing, and negative remarks.  I want us to be unified, even in our differing opinions.  That doesn't mean that we have to be in-love with everyone in the community, it just means that we have to "cease and desist" the crappy behind the scenes (and front lines)behavior - and that means YOU.  And ME.  Let's just stop this, because really?  It's getting ridiculous, and blurring the lines of support, friendship, and activism.

 

TAKE THE PLEDGE:

• I will NOT actively search for conflict
• I will NOT spread rumors or negative comments about another community member
• I will NOT try to interfere with another's purpose, livelihood, or mission
• I will NOT purposely try to negatively promote a company or person
• I WILL speak to a person directly if I have a conflict, differing opinion or problem
• I WILL  remember that people are entitled to their opinions, even if I dislike them or disagree
• I WILL  remember that although our experiences may be different, we are working towards the same goal
• I WILL speak openly and honestly about my own personal experiences without fear of reprimand
• I WILL be kind to others
• I WILL remember that I am not perfect, but will always try to be my best to others
  
  I WILL be part of the solution, NOT the problem.

I want to create an atmosphere where any of us can walk up to another and say hello, despite any differing opinions because we know that we are part of the same community.  A community that is made up of good and bad experiences, but supported by all of us.  

I know that some of you may view this as "pollyanaish", but I'm ok with being branded that if it gets people thinking and acting and paying more attention to promoting positivity in our community.   Most of us have had a lifetime of hurt, why inflict more upon each other?     We're human, we make mistakes - sometimes towards each other - but it's how we recover from those mistakes that matter.

"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment.  And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new.  Right now. " ~Author Unknown

Your actions matter, and mine do too.   I'm signing the pledge below to promise to do my best to be respectful and supportive, and hope you do too to show your renewed commitment to respect each other.  Share this on your wall and with your community if you agree.  Pledge kindness, respect, and unity.

Cheers,
Taunia 

 

 

 

OBESITY ONLINE FORUM CONFERENCE REVIEW (Or, how to not make any powerful friends)

This past weekend, I was an invited guest at the New York City for the Obesity Online event sponsored by Ethicon Endo-Surgery and the Obesity Action Coalition.  Much has already been written about this from some of the other WLS peeps who were in attendance.  I've personally held off on speaking publicly for a few days because I wanted to formulate my thoughts after sleeping on it, and reading the other comments and blog postings about it.

The problem is, I had an almost entirely opposite reaction to the conference than most of the attendees, and I'm still trying to sort out why.  All of the conference attendees very generously(?) had their travel expenses paid for and were put up in the swanky Mondrian Soho hotel.  Unfortunately, I slept through the first night of meeting and greeting, which I was told was lavish and had an open bar (open bar?!?  damn my post-plane sleeping!). There was a lot of mingling and setting the tone for the "let's all get along and work together."  I can't comment on that since I was snoozing away in my bed as everyone else shmoozed.  (Note:  I'm an insomniac and barely sleep - unless, of course, I *should* be awake at something important like, meeting your peers for the first time.  Doh!)

I'm not going to lie:  free trip?  Count me in.  If you're paying, I'm going.  BUT.  Does that mean that I'm obligated to write a entirely positive review?  I hope not, because that's not what I'm about to do...

When I arrived at the official forum on Friday, I was alone and full of anxiety.  Even though 90% of my life is made available for public consumption, one of the things I don't often speak about is my daily struggle with anxiety and panic.  It's overwhelming.  I can get up on a stage half-naked in a corset and sing my heart out, but to walk into a room and meet my peers is almost debilitating for me.  It's something I struggle with on a daily basis, and I literally have to FORCE myself out of the house at times.  It's frustrating because I logically and rationally know that I'm safe, but my body, brain, and heart still go straight to panic mode.  So for me, walking into that room was incredibly difficult.  But do you know what helped?  Lynnda, Toni, and Mike from bariatrictv.com walked right over to me, gave me a giant hug, and welcomed me sitting with them in their row.  Then Jill and Teresa did the same.  (My huge thanks to everyone for being so friendly and welcoming!) My nervous were calmed, especially once I had a mouth full of bacon.  (Yes, bacon.)  Flying in on the same plane as Melting Mama helped as well. Especially as she laughed at me while I was searched by TSA.

Once I calmed down, I was able to start taking in what was going on around me.  Clearly, everyone there was there for the same purpose:  to discuss obesity, treatments, education, and resources.  We all have a common purpose, a common desire to bring to light the challenges of morbid obesity.  But I was confused:  who was running this event?  The Obesity Action Coalition was front and center, with Endo-Ethicon and Porter-Novelli also there:

• Endo-Ethicon is a subsidiary of Johnson & Johnson, and creators of the Realize Solution
• The WLSFA was not invited to this event. I'm not sure that anyone on the organizational side actually knew of my affiliation.  (The invitation was sent to me through my radio program).
• One thing was clear:  a LOT of money was spent on this event.  More than I probably make in three year's time.  I understand the concept of spend money to make money, but it felt almost obscene to me.  Maybe it's an unfair assessment, but as someone who works pretty tirelessly as an unpaid advocate for weight loss surgery, obesity awareness, and positive self-image, I felt guilty.  I felt guilty that my soon-to-be-husband is working 10 hours a day plus going to school and that we struggle on a daily basis to put food on the table and keep our bills paid. And yet?  He supports me, my volunteer work,  and my passions 100%.  

But how could I enjoy this lavish treatment?  I knew I was being courted, we all were.  But here's the thing:  my voice - our voice - is valuable.  I realized this immediately when I looked around at the swanky hotel room, the lovely and delicious meals, and heard about the free open bar.  It just seemed: obscene.  I couldn't help but think, "if you're going to spend this much money on me to get me to support your cause (our cause), why not skip the royal treatment and buy some ad space on my blog?  Or my radio program?  Or my website? Why not help me help you?  If we're working towards the same goal, and you clearly know the value of my websites, radio program, and social network, why not skip the fancy trip and work with me in a way that helps us all move forward?  And most importantly, why is the WLSFA not invited?  Of course, *I* accepted the trip, so I'm probably partially to blame for my own discomfort with the situation.  (Truth be told, I almost didn't go, but that was because I was scared to go, and I'm trying with all my might to not let fear rule my life.)

But beyond that, I found some of the content upsetting.  Let me be clear:  I am going off of my memory here.  I have asked to see or hear a transcript of the day to confirm my memory (which admittedly can be faulty at times), but no one has been able to provide that for me.  I will mention that Joe Nadglowski (President/CEO of the Obesity Action Coalition) has been incredibly helpful and communicative in answering my questions.

The first thing that triggered a red flag for me is when patients were referred to as "consumers."  I took serious issue with that as I looked around at all the expenses around me.  Patients are not the same thing as consumers, and to refer to them as such is upsetting.  It made me feel as though the conference was a bit disingenuous.  It was clear there was a huge advertising campaign going on here, but the mission behind it was now starting to get a bit murky.  

The next thing that troubled me:  a response to the lovely Teresa Dunn when she asked about Food Addiction.  If my memory serves me correctly, I believe that Dr. Blackstone's answer was that there IS no such thing as food addition.    Part of me agrees with that, but only because I don't think addiction needs to be qualified.  I think addiction is addiction. It is compulsive, reactive behavior - something I've also struggled with my entire life.  Her response upset me, because I think it's a common thought process in the weight loss surgery medical community.  I had no idea how much I would struggle with this post-surgery, and how the compulsive behavior was transferred from food to pills to wine and then back to food.  I almost felt a bit ashamed when she spoke.  What is wrong with me?  Then I was enraged, because this is too often swept under the rug and NOT talked about.  And I know, I'm absolutely sure, that I am NOT the only person who struggles with this.  Dealing with addictive behavior HAS to be discussed more often, it HAS to be brought to the forefront in order for any post-op to be successful.  I'm not a medical professional, true, but I am someone who lives this daily. (Important to note:  Dr. Blackstone's statements were her own, and not necessarily the view of the OAC.)

I also knew that at some point, the Realize Solution was going to be discussed and it was...but in a very subtle way.  We were told about Tracy, a mom of four with a mission to lose weight.  They didn't mention that she was partnered with the Realize Solution (thank you for the correction, Andrea!), only that was should support her in her journey. I'm happy to support anyone in their mission for a healthy life, but not happy to be an unpaid part of Endo-Ethicon's/Realize promotional campaign.  

All of this being said, I did walk away with a lot of positive as well.  First, it was wonderful meeting many of my online friends and peers for the first time.  Despite my panic and anxiety, it was incredible putting online names and faces to real people.  The Obesity Online event provided an avenue for us to all meet where we may not have otherwise had the opportunity.  That alone is worth mentioning because it only serves to help us become stronger in our united goals.

A highlight for me during the conference was meeting Colleen Cook.  When I was first researching weight loss surgery, hers were some of the first books that I read and the information I found in them helped me make a more educated decision.  Her "Success Habits of WLS Patients" should be required reading for anyone going through the weight loss surgery journey.

I was also reminded of the many, many wonderful things that the Obesity Action Coalition is doing. They are constantly advocating for the obese, bringing to light many issues in the news and working on the behalf of the patients.  Their website provides a plethora of information, resources, educational tools and support.  I am a member, and do highly encourage others to be as well:
 

www.obesityaction.org

I met many wonderful people as well, and I will steal Beth's list of bloggers and WLS peeps:

• Diva Taunia http://www.divatauniablog.com/
• Melting  http://www.meltingmama.net
• Andrea Ullberg http://www.wlsvitagarten.com
• Kaitlin Nelson http://www.thebypassedlife.com
• Michelle Vicari http://www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com
• Dave Fouts http://www.chefdave.org
• Teresa Dunn http://teresajourneyshome.wordpress.com/
• Jill Harris http://jellosjourney.blogspot.com/
• Michelle Schiener http://vsgmom.com/
• Toni Towe  http://www.bariatrictv.com
• Michael Towe  http://www.bariatrictv.com
• Lynnda Shepherd http://www.bariatrictv.com
• Susan Maria Leach http://bariatriceating.com/SMblog/
• Barbara Thompson  http://www.wlscenter.com/
• Rachel Lebowitz http://bariatricrevisionary.blogspot.com/
• Colleen Cook http://colleencook.com/
• Cari DeLaCruz  http://www.bariatricafterlife.com/
• Yvonne McCarthy  http://www.bariatricgirl.com/
• Emily Gomez  http://weightlosthopegained.wordpress.com/
• Laura Preston  http://mydailydetour.typepad.com/
• Maria Fitzpatrick  http://www.formerlyfluffy.com/

(Please let me know if I am missing anyone!)
 

I'm well aware of what a delicate balancing act it is to promote vs. advocate.   For me as a one-Diva operation, I struggle with that at times.  My issues stem from the feeling of being taken advantage of by a large and powerful company with lots of financial backing, and unfortunately, that was the bad taste that was left in my mouth. I don't want to take anything away from the powerful advocacy that can happen when a group like this comes together, but I also don't want to feel duped.  I will work tirelessly for a cause I believe in, but for the cause, not the company.  My voice is valuable, and so is that of my peers.  This, I know.

I FLAT-OUT LOVE THIS!

Ok, lame introduction for an amazing product I just tried:  Light Garden Spinach Flat Out Flat Bread.  I don't think it would be possible for me to be more in love with what's in my mouth right now.  (And yes, I read that back I realized how horribly wrong that sounds, but hey, I'm submerged in Burlesque 24/7 now, it's gonna happen.)

While this does not help me in my quest to eat a little bit more gluten and wheat-free, it does help me in my quest to eat less white bread.  (Look, I am NEVER going to give up bread.  I've tried it, and nearly killed anyone who came into my path.  I need a better alternative than jail.)  

With only 90 calories, 3 net carbs, 0 sugar, and 9 fiber (really, half of all of those since I'm only eating half), this is a big, big winner:

I had made Rob a tuna wrap with the flat out bread for his lunch today, and he called to inform me that it was the best tuna wrap he'd ever had.  Somehow the Mayo Gods allowed me to put the exact specific quantity of mayo vs. tuna vs. celery that he likes (I never get it right), but he said that the spinach Flat Out put it over the top because it was so-freakin-delicious.  Well ok, then! I had to try it for myself.

I decided to make a veggie/salad roll-up and I have to tell you:  I may never use bread again.  I cannot believe how incredibly delicious this stuff is, AND, I love that it's "sturdy."  I could roll that sucker up without any rips or tears (which I generally get with flat bread because I'm the worst wrap-roller in the world).  But honestly?  It's delicious.  It's probably the most delicious flat bread I've ever had, and now I'm on a quest to try all their flavors.  

Are you listening Flat Out?  Send me product for review, yo!  I'm in love.  Flat-Out love.  

YOU LIKE PRIZES, & I GOT EM! WLSFA RAFFLE

Last week, I posted a video for a WLSFA raffle that I'm holding, and I've done an entirely horrible job at promoting it.  Therefore, I'm going to try "Fundraiser 2.0! New With More Prizes!"

Deadline to donate and enter:  Sunday, April 10th - NOON, EST.
Winners announced by video:  no later than Monday, Aprill 11th  
(which leaves the winners one month to learn the choreography - yipee!) 

 

                                                 

 

Donate Now!  There are two ways to win:

GRAND PRIZE:

Make a donation of $50 or more to the WLSFA, and have your name entered into a raffle to win 1 of up to 4 spots in the Diva Taunia Dolls Burlesque Show on Saturday night, May 14th!  That's right, YOU can be a Vegas Showgirl (or guy)!  You will be fully costumed and have you hair and makeup done, and will be sent video tutorials to be in our group song and dance number:  "Show Me How You Burlesque" (from the movie Burlesque).  If you are shy and don't want to perform, you can TRANSFER your winning prize to someone else - a talented friend or WLS peep that you want to see dancing and workin' their stuff in the show.   How many times in your life can you say you performed in Vegas?!   Donate now to be transformed into a Vegas Starlet!

Note:  $50 (+)donations get an entry into both the Burlesque Grand Prize Raffle and the prize raffles below. Every $50 donation gets you another entry into both!

RAFFLE PRIZES:

Make a donation of $25 or more to the WLSFA, and you will be entered into a raffle to win one of these fantastic prizes below.  More prizes will be added throughout the week, so keep an eye out on this page for updates!

Note:  For every $25 you donate, you get an additional raffle entry!

RAFFLE PRIZE LIST:

Molded Cup Lace over Microfiber Bustier & Thong Set - Size XL in HOT PINK

Provided by:  Delores at From the Heart Lingerie!
www.fromtheheartlingerie.com 

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TWO BOTTLES + APPLICATOR OF FAMOUS DAVES SELF-TANNER!

Provided by:  Dave at Famous Daves!
www.famousdavestanner.com
 

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Bali Two Tone 9mm Men's Ring - Size 10

Provided by:  Stauer Smart Luxuries Jewelers
www.stauer.com 
 

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Free Corset & TuTu!
Provided by:  Baci-Farfalle.com & KissesandButterflies.com 

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GIFT BOX OF CARNIE WILSON BOOKS, CDS, AND & WLS RESOURCES!
Provided by:  Bariatric Advantage
www.bariatricadvantage.com 

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GIFT BOX 
Provided by:  Celebrate Vitamins
www.celebratevitamins.com

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GIFT BOX  - TWO GIVEAWAYS!
Hand Perfection Tube Hand Cream and Nail 7 Cuticle Cream!
www.handperfection.com 

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My pal Donna has hooked me up with FIVE of these new BANJEES from Sprigs to give way as prizes.  The perfect thing to take to Vegas - no carrying anything around!  The designs are SUPER cute too!  Lots of hot pink, so I'm happy.  I'll review mine as soon as I get it, but if you're active and out and about, these are perfect!

www.sprigsville.com

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THREE YEARS AGO TODAY

Rob just texted me and reminded me that today is my three year "surgiversary."   I had completely forgotten.  Three years ago today, I weighed over 300 lbs and had RNY (Roux-en-y) Gastric Bypass Surgery by Dr. Donald Hess at Boston Medical Center.  It seems like a million years ago now, and timely  to remember when I'm beating myself up about weight gain and self-discipline:

I'm out of the newbie stage.  While I'm definitely still MUCH more in control of my weight than I was three years ago, I struggle daily with self-esteem, panic/anxiety, and eating issues.  Still?  I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat because quite frankly, I'm not sure I'd even be alive today if I hadn't had gastric bypass surgery.

The good:  overall, I've maintained a 150+ lbs loss (depending on what week you ask me).  I love salad, vegetables, soup, and healthy foods that I wouldn't have even considered three years ago.  I hate soda, I won't touch it (save for the occassional Shirley Temple with extra cherries, which I still love).   I sing and dance on stage now.  I'm my own boss.  I actually move my body with ease now, and I can dance (and choreograph!) - something I've always loved - for more than 5 seconds at a time without being winded.  I've got a handsome and loving man,  a great family, and I can wear a lot more super-cute clothes now.  

The bad:  I can eat a normal amount of food now - barely any restriction.  I don't have any food intolerances (except for beef, which I sometimes can't digest).  I struggle with panic and anxiety on a daily basis.  (Note: I've always struggled with this, but it got worse post-surgery.)  I've also gained back the dreaded post-surgery weight, and even though I had death breathing down my neck 20 lbs ago, I still beat myself up about that even though my brain knows I'm much healthier and stronger at this weight.  The self-esteem and self-control issues were gone for almost two years, and panic set in when they returned.  That has been the most difficult thing for me.

For the past three years, despite knowing that "the bad" was possible and most likely would return, I was still surprised when it happened to me.  Most of the time I choose to focus on the good - because I'd be an ass if I didn't realize how much better my life is now, and how many good things I have in my life (and about my own self) to be happy about.    I just want to be honest on this surgiversary date:  it's not always happy-sunny-ville.  It's work now.  It's much more manageable work, but it's work.

So today, on this day when I woke up beating myself up - only to then reminded by man I love about how far I've come since 3/25/08 (He remembered what today was!  I didn't).   I promise you this for the next year:   less beating myself up, more focus on my mental well-being, finding a balance between eating and eating well, and choosing to be positive.  Always.  Because the alternative isn't an option for me.

I also want to extend a HUGE thank you to all of my friends in (and out) of the WLS Community. Without you, I'd have no accountability, no support...and for that, I will be continually grateful.  I know with the Burlesque show and wedding I've been a bit disconnected, but I'm plugging myself back in, and would love to see/talk/hang with you at either of these upcoming events I'll be attending:

April 14-15: I'll be joining some of my peers in New York City for an event sponsored by Ethicon Endo-Surgery and the Obesity Action Coalition.  Ethicon Endo-Surgery or EES paid for my travel and incidentals so I can participate in their obesity online forum.  Which you know, ROCKS (thank you for the nice little trip)!

May 13-15th:  I'll be at the WLSFA Mother of All Meet & Greets in Las Vegas!  I'm very, very excited about this 1) because I get to see my peeps 2) because I get to gamble and 3) because I get to perform on Saturday night and can add "Vegas Show Girl" to my resume.  :)

 

PIMPIN' AIN'T EASY

We interrupt your regular blog reading for these pimpin' commercial breaks.  Fo' shizzle.  

I have lots of things to promote today, so rather than bombard with lots of individual Facebook entries, I thought I'd just wrap everything up in one tidy little blog entry.  Mmmkay?

GROUPON: SIGN UP AND DIVA TAUNIA GETS 10 GROUPON BUCKAROOS:

You probably know by now that I only pimp-out things that I love.  (I don't bother with negative advertisement, I'd rather be Suzy Sunshine.  lol)  I happen to LOVE Groupon, and they have some seriously kick-ass deals, like today's deal:

$10 for $20 Worth of Vintage Threads, Costumes, and New Clothes From The Garment District

Sweet!  I love The Garment District and uh, hello?  PERFECT for costuming a Burlesque show.  I have purchased, fo' sho.

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DIVA T NEEDS A HONEYMOON, YO!

I am a member of the Obesity Action Coalition, and they are currently running a membership drive to help them in their mission to raise awareness of the need for obesity education.  Their current fundraiser is awarding a free trip to the person who recruits the most people.  Uh, YES PLEASE!  I need a honeymoon, yo!  So go on, sign up, and tell them that Diva Taunia sent you in the member referral section!  :)

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You ARE going to the Meet & Greet, aren't you?!  I'm going to be there, along with a gazillion other WLS Peeps!  Don't miss out on the great hotel deal, and book your tickets now before we sell out!

I'm going to be performing at the Saturday night event, so you may be able to catch some Diva Taunia Dolls Burlesque while in Vegas!  ;)

INTERESTED IN BECOMING A SPONSOR OR EXHIBITING?  CLICK HERE

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Last, but not least, if you haven't already gotten your tickets to the premiere performance for The Diva Taunia Dolls Burlesque "Valentine Vixens" show on February 11th, go!  Buy your tickets NOW.  We expect to be sold out by the end of next week, and it's standing room only, babycakes.  

 

FEBRUARY 11th @ 9:00 pm EST 
Gemstones, Lowell MA  
150 Market St. (above The Blue Shamrock)
General Standing RoomTickets $25

General Seating:  Standing Room Only.  First-come, first-serve seating.  VIP Booths are private closed-in areas away from the stage.  (VIP Booths are currently SOLD OUT)

 

>Note:  if you have any problems with the paypal icons below, you may also send ticket payment directly to [email protected].  Please note this address is not used for communications, only ticket payments.  If you have any questions about your order, feel free to email us at [email protected].  Tickets are $25 a piece, and you may send a bulk payment for multiple tickets.  Thanks!

PAY USING GOOGLE CHECKOUT:

$25.00 - (1) Advanced Ticket $50.00 - (2) Advanced Tickets $75.00 - (3) Advanced Tickets $100.00 - (4) Advanced Tickets $125.00 - (5) Advanced Tickets $150.00 - (6) Advanced Tickets $175.00 - (7) Advanced Tickets $200.00 - (8) Advanced Tickets $225.00 - (9) Advanced Tickets $250.00 - (10) Advanced Tickets

We HIGHLY recommend purchasing your tickets in advance as we expect this show to SELL OUT BY 1/31/11 . GEMSTONES offers food and drink from 9:00pm-1:00am. 

OUR VIP BOOTHS ARE SOLD OUT!