Diva Taunia's Backstage Pass Official Blog

SO HERE'S THE SKINNY ON MY FAT

Ok, let's get something clear right out the gate:  I am not, nor will I ever, be PREGNANT.   That would be a miracle by the sweet baby Jesus himself for two reasons:  1) I'm almost FORTY and in peri menopause, and 2) Rob cannot make any babies anymore, you dig?  So there.  NOT. PREGNANT.  But thank you so much for asking, really makes a fat girl feel good.  :)

And speaking of fat, I guess there's no more pretending:  yep, I gained weight.  A lot of it.  Back when I was sickest and at my lowest weight, all of my doctors told me they wanted me to put back 20 lbs. I did better:  I gained almost 35.  I weigh 170-ish lbs, and seeing that number on the scale KILLS ME.

The thing is, I'm not sure it's entirely my fault.  (I mean, my guess is that the chips I've been devouring on a regular basis are not helping things.)  Back in Jan/Feb, I was put on two new medications, one of which is known for rapid weight gain and bloat.    It took me almost a year and half to get to the doctor's recommended 20 lbs, and it took me less than two months to put on the rest with the help of the meds.  Yippee!  I'm fat again!

When I hit 160 lbs, I felt good.  I felt strong, and I felt voluptuous.  Now?  I just feel sluggish and fat. And I CANNOT. STOP. EATING.  I'm hungry ALL THE TIME.  And while I still have plenty of restriction, I also have almost ZERO intolerances and I can eat just about anything.

Take a gander at the regain process:

ME - CIRCA 2009, at my lowest (and sickest) weight:

ME - FEBRUARY 11, 2011 - LIKING MY WEIGHT AND MY BOD:

ME -  MAY 12th, 2011:

Granted, a lot of my weight gain is in my boobies, which Rob would argue is a good thing, but I HATE this weight.  I'm terrified.  I don't want to go back to 311 lbs, and I feel completely helpless.  I dance DAILY.  I'm exercising more than I ever have, and I'm only maintaining (barely).  I can't stop eating, and I can't stop thinking about food constantly.  It's all back, just in a smaller package.  

I thought by ignoring it and taking pictures at good angles that no one would find out.  That somehow I could magically take the weight off and no one would know.  Well, having a very public wedding with a gazillion pics online will slap the truth right on to ya.  I was called out as looking pregnant on my music page, and that there was a big dose of reality for me. So here it is: my admission, and it hurts and is hard for me, so don't make it worse...mmmmkay?

Accountability has always been my saving grace, so maybe "going public" about it will help me resolve it.  I'm working with my doctors to adjust my medications, and I've got appts with my kidney specialists in the next few weeks, so maybe we'll figure some stuff out that will help.  But you know what else will help?  If I stop eating.  Constantly.

God Bless, Rob.  He puts up with my crazy, loves me at any weight, and supports me no matter what.

I'm just thankful for the other people before me that openly spoke and wrote about re-gain, so that I know I'm not alone and there is hope for conquering it.  Thank you, you know who you are.

So here begins another very public battle with my weight....

THREE YEARS AGO TODAY

Rob just texted me and reminded me that today is my three year "surgiversary."   I had completely forgotten.  Three years ago today, I weighed over 300 lbs and had RNY (Roux-en-y) Gastric Bypass Surgery by Dr. Donald Hess at Boston Medical Center.  It seems like a million years ago now, and timely  to remember when I'm beating myself up about weight gain and self-discipline:

I'm out of the newbie stage.  While I'm definitely still MUCH more in control of my weight than I was three years ago, I struggle daily with self-esteem, panic/anxiety, and eating issues.  Still?  I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat because quite frankly, I'm not sure I'd even be alive today if I hadn't had gastric bypass surgery.

The good:  overall, I've maintained a 150+ lbs loss (depending on what week you ask me).  I love salad, vegetables, soup, and healthy foods that I wouldn't have even considered three years ago.  I hate soda, I won't touch it (save for the occassional Shirley Temple with extra cherries, which I still love).   I sing and dance on stage now.  I'm my own boss.  I actually move my body with ease now, and I can dance (and choreograph!) - something I've always loved - for more than 5 seconds at a time without being winded.  I've got a handsome and loving man,  a great family, and I can wear a lot more super-cute clothes now.  

The bad:  I can eat a normal amount of food now - barely any restriction.  I don't have any food intolerances (except for beef, which I sometimes can't digest).  I struggle with panic and anxiety on a daily basis.  (Note: I've always struggled with this, but it got worse post-surgery.)  I've also gained back the dreaded post-surgery weight, and even though I had death breathing down my neck 20 lbs ago, I still beat myself up about that even though my brain knows I'm much healthier and stronger at this weight.  The self-esteem and self-control issues were gone for almost two years, and panic set in when they returned.  That has been the most difficult thing for me.

For the past three years, despite knowing that "the bad" was possible and most likely would return, I was still surprised when it happened to me.  Most of the time I choose to focus on the good - because I'd be an ass if I didn't realize how much better my life is now, and how many good things I have in my life (and about my own self) to be happy about.    I just want to be honest on this surgiversary date:  it's not always happy-sunny-ville.  It's work now.  It's much more manageable work, but it's work.

So today, on this day when I woke up beating myself up - only to then reminded by man I love about how far I've come since 3/25/08 (He remembered what today was!  I didn't).   I promise you this for the next year:   less beating myself up, more focus on my mental well-being, finding a balance between eating and eating well, and choosing to be positive.  Always.  Because the alternative isn't an option for me.

I also want to extend a HUGE thank you to all of my friends in (and out) of the WLS Community. Without you, I'd have no accountability, no support...and for that, I will be continually grateful.  I know with the Burlesque show and wedding I've been a bit disconnected, but I'm plugging myself back in, and would love to see/talk/hang with you at either of these upcoming events I'll be attending:

April 14-15: I'll be joining some of my peers in New York City for an event sponsored by Ethicon Endo-Surgery and the Obesity Action Coalition.  Ethicon Endo-Surgery or EES paid for my travel and incidentals so I can participate in their obesity online forum.  Which you know, ROCKS (thank you for the nice little trip)!

May 13-15th:  I'll be at the WLSFA Mother of All Meet & Greets in Las Vegas!  I'm very, very excited about this 1) because I get to see my peeps 2) because I get to gamble and 3) because I get to perform on Saturday night and can add "Vegas Show Girl" to my resume.  :)

 

12/20: HOLIDAY SPARKLE! GLITZ, GLAM, GOODIES & GIFTS!

 

What do you get when you take two of my very favorite things (the holidays & giving away stuff) and put them together??  You get a MONTH-LONG HOLIDAY PROMOTION, that's what!

Tune in every Monday to find out about all the different glitz, glamour, goodies and gifts out there to make your holiday season as "Diva!" as possible!  Listener giveaways, secret Twitter and Facebook Giveaways, special guests, and special co-hosts!  Lots of fun stuff for the holidays. 

Listen live on Monday in December, 20th  at 7pm EST to win!

www.backstagepassradio.com

Don't forget to watch for special shopping discounts using the "DIVAT" coupon code, and keep an eye out for sponsors and prizes that will be continually listed here.  Happy Holidays!

SPONSORS AND PRIZES  FOR MONDAY, DECEMBER 20th:

www.corkycouture.com

Corky Kouture's luxurious, eye popping, show stopping presentation bags are designed to dazzle and delight even the most demanding Diva! Perfect for presenting a bottle of liquor, wine, champagne,  or other favorite “bubbly” (including bubble bath or sparkling grape juice for your favorite little princess). Enclose a gift card, money, love note or piece of jewelry in the adorning jewled pouch and you’ve just created a treasured keepsake.

PRIZE:  1 Corky Kouture in their color choice
DIVA DISCOUNT:  20% OFF USING "DIVAT"

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www.badcatjewelry.com

Bad Cat Jewelry offers simple and modern pieces, using sterling and fine silver, semiprecious stones, crystals, vintage and contemporary beads.  All metal is nickel and lead free.  These are one of a kind, wearable pieces of art which will intrigue friends and inspire conversations.  Express yourself...are you a Good Cat or a Bad Cat?  Custom orders are always welcome.  10% of every purchase is donated to Specially for Children in Austin, Texas: a care center for children with cancer and their families.  Give the gift that gives back – Bad Cat Jewelry!

PRIZE:  $25 Gift Certificate to the Etsy Shop!
DIVA DISCOUNT:  10% OFF USING "DIVAT"

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www.stauer.com

Stauer.com offers smart luxury at surpring prices!  One lucky winner will receive this gorgeous set:  The shallow water of Rome's Trevi Fountain shimmers with sunken treasure. Thousands of coins glisten in the afternoon sunlight. Each began as a wish in the heart of a hopeful visitor. Some wished for love. Others for happiness. Most wished for a little of both. Popular legend has it that one coin ensures a return to Rome. Two coins can spark a new romance. And if you're lucky, three coins just might lead to everlasting love.

The DiamondAura Trevi Necklace makes its own luck. And that luck is absolutely gorgeous. This magnificent three-stone pendant features a trio of brilliant-cut, lab-created DiamondAura rounds (¾ ctw) custom-crafted to trigger love at first sight. You'll find it hard not to swoon over the white fire of these DiamondAura stunners set in .925 sterling silver. The eye-catching pendant dangles from an 18" sterling chain that secures with a sterling lobster clasp. Visit www.stauer.com for more information!

PRIZE:  Diamond Aura Trevi Necklace  
PLUS 
Sterling Silver DiamondAura Classique 3 stone ring and 1ctw DiamondAura stud earrings!!!!

DIVA DISCOUNT:  $25 off this set  USING "DIVAT"

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www.conairdryer.com

Are you ready to take back the power?  Say goodbye to your hair Pro and hello to ours…the new Infiniti Pro by Conair™ 1875-Watt Salon-Performance AC Motor Styling Tool puts salon-performance power in the palm of your hand!  The Infiniti Pro utilizes an AC (alternating current) motor, which is the high-performance motor typically designed for hair stylists and salon use.  However this professional performance tool is 15 percent lighter than most AC motor dryers, making it easy to harness salon power at home. 

PRIZE:  Infiniti Pro by Conair 1875-Watt Salon-Performance AC Motor Styling Tool

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FACEBOOK GIVEAWAY: 

www.accessoryremix.com

Enovia at Accessory Remix has very generously donated one of her beautiful pieces for a lucky holiday Facebook  "liker"!   One pair of Glitz Star Earrings in your choice of color.  How do  you win?  Visit the Accesssory Remix Page on Facebook, "like" them, and then leave a comment on the wall that says:  "Diva Taunia sent me!  I love Accessory Remix!"

Anyone who likes and leaves a comment on the wall gets entered into the on-air raffle!   

PRIZE:  One pair of Glitz Star Earrings in your choice of color!
DIVA DISCOUNT:  15% off using the code "DIVAT" 

 

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Quality is Ingredient! There is nothing else in that little bottle that can actually improve your skin tone. Not the packaging, not the latest fad, and certainly not the 14 year old models designed to sell 40- 50 year old women products.  (Note from Taunia:  I have to say, though, their packaging is BEAUTIFUL!)

Quality comes from dew fresh ingredients from organic farms. Quality comes from the head, hearts and hands of people, like me and you. Quality is developed over several decades of love, heart, and hard work. Quality is classic. Quality is purity. Quality is honest. Quality is a gift from Mother Nature.  That is why we call our products, “Dew Fresh” – Skin Care products. Just like nature creates morning dew, our products are crafted to make your skin fresh and healthy as the morning dew. No synthetic chemicals - Ever!  Visit www.lilyorganics.com for more information

PRIZE:  ONE HOME SPA GIFT PACKAGE FOR A LUCKY CALLER!
DIVA DISCOUNT:  TBA, but use "DIVAT"

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IMetabolic is a medically-based, medically-supervised, weight loss system that integrates all the scientifically-validated elements of successful weight reduction to maximize long term health. After an initial free consultation, each client embarks upon an individualized program, tailored to your specific needs.

PRIZE:  ONE SAMPLER PACKAGE FROM IMETABOLIC
DIVA DISCOUNT:   "DIVAT"

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www.bariatricadvantage.com

NEW PRIZE JUST IN: Bariatric Advantage 1 bag of calcium chews and 1 tub of our multi vitamin berry crystals! Nice!

(Check back soon - prizes being listed througout the weekend!)

 

DIVA TAUNIA'S GLITZ, GLAMOUR, GOODIES & GIFTS! December Radio

What do you get when you take two of my very favorite things (the holidays & giving away stuff) and put them together??  You get a MONTH-LONG HOLIDAY PROMOTION, that's what!

Tune in every Monday to find out about all the different glitz, glamour, goodies and gifts out there to make your holiday season as "Diva!" as possible!  Listener giveaways, secret Twitter and Facebook Giveaways, special guests, and special co-hosts!  Lots of fun stuff for the holidays. 

Listen live every Monday in December at 7pm EST to win!

www.backstagepassradio.com

Don't forget to watch for special shopping discounts using the "DIVAT" coupon code, and keep an eye out for sponsors and prizes that will be continually listed here.  Happy Holidays!

SPONSORS AND PRIZES  FOR MONDAY, DECEMBER 6TH:

www.handperfection.com

HAND PERFECTION:  Diva Taunia’s FAVORITE HAND CREAM EVER! 

Our Day and Night Kit  gives you full time hand protection. The Complete Day Cream shows immediate benefits of brightening skin tone and blurring imperfections – plus cumlulative, clinically proven benefits of diminishing age spots, lines and wrinkles in as little as two weeks. Night Solution is our overnight, restorative miracle serum that accelerates hand renewal while you sleep. Awaken with hands that are supple, soft and younger looking. REDBOOK calls Night Solution “The Ultimate Anti-ager.”

SPONSORED PRIZE:  One Day and Night Kit Valued at $99!
DIVA DISCOUNT:   Use "DIVAT" at checkout for a 20% discount on your order! 

     

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www.shatobu.com

ShaToBu - The Workout You Wear - is the revolutionary shaper that helps women shape, tone and burn more calories during everyday activities – even during your busy holiday shopping!

The benefits go beyond ordinary shapewear - ShaToBu instantly gives a sleeker silhouette, but women can also see and feel a difference in their bodies with regular use over time. By incorporating resistance bands right into the garment, muscles work a little harder and more calories are burned during daily activities.

ShaToBu helps women fit a workout into their normal day, while looking and feeling great.

SPONSORED PRIZE:  Your choice of (1) Shapewear from www.shatobu.com!

DIVA DISCOUNT:   Use "DIVAT" at checkout for a 20% discount on your order! 

   



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www.futureoxygen.com

Future Oxygen offers distinctive products with an eye toward improving the environment. The charming pendants, key chains, greeting cards and stationery can be planted after use to grow into beautiful flowers, grasses or trees, making a living, lasting connection to a special life moment, relationship or memory. The beauty of the world around us and within us is reflected in the use of our products and in the new life created by the subsequent planting of such a symbol.

All FO2 products are 100% biodegradable, including the packaging and are available for gifts,personal use, awareness, school/club fundraisers and as promotional items. A portion of our proceeds are donated through GreaterGood.org to support breast cancer awareness, animal rescue and support of the environment. Enjoy life’s beauty naturally!

SPONSORED PRIZE:  Two (2) pieces of FO2 Ecowear from the website!
DIVA DISCOUNT:   Use "DIVAT" at checkout for a 20% discount on your order! 

  

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 www.frownies.com

Frownies has been called an ‘institution’ in the beauty industry. The small, woman owned and operated business is still run by the same family that started the company in 1889.  B&P Company, owners of the brand Frownies, stands for Beauty and Personal Wellness. Today B&P Company is committed to woman’s health as well as beauty and bring to market products free of synthetic preservative or other ingredients that are known carcinogens and estrogen mimickers.

CEO Kat Wright ND is committed to creating a simple, effective line of all natural products that preserve both beauty and skin heath. Frownies products address acne towrinkles and everything in between. Dr. Kat Wright has published a book to go along with the company philosophy of creating safe and healthy products titled, Your Health in Your Hands empowering women and exposing health.

SPONSORED PRIZE:  "Face Lift In a Bag!" Complete Skin Care Beauty Program!
DIVA DISCOUNT:   Use "DIVAT" at checkout for a 20% discount on your order! 

  

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www.flirtydivatees.com

Women need to have more fun! At FlirtyDivaTees.com, we believe there is a name for this. It's called harmless cheap fun! That's all we offer here at Flirty Diva Tees, harmless cheapf un for women! Let's face it...isn't life more enjoyable when you laugh and have some fun? Flirty Diva Tees makes our women's flirty shirts available in all sizes, plus sizes too. We offer them in a soft style fitted ladies t-shirts and the looser fitting ladies t-shirts both styles are femininely styled fashionable t-shirts. When you wear our Flirty Diva Tees, two things will happen...people will laugh, and you will have fun! People love interacting with ladies who know how to have some fun and have a sense of humor and isn't that what you want to do? If it's not...well, maybe you should. Flirty Diva Tees flirty funny ladies tee shirts quotes are all about making the best ofyour time out with friends, laugh at life and cheer up the population! It will do you good.  Visit www.flirtydivatees.com to see more designs and join in the fun!

SPONSORED PRIZE:  One Flirty Diva Tee of Your Choice, Size & Design!
DIVA DISCOUNT:   Use "DIVAT" at checkout for a 15% discount on your order! 

    

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www.iyoba.com

Iyoba Body Essentials is known for super creamy soap bars - always made with olive oil, essential oils, shea butter, mango butter, cocoa butter, and "love." We also offer a complete skin and hair care line of the most nourishing products available. So whether you're looking for a specific therapeutic skin or hair care product or you simply want to pamper yourself with our all-natural beauty products -- we invite you to experience the Iyoba difference.  Iyoba products make wonderful holiday gifts, and you can feel good about giving yourself or your loved ones a quality product made from all-natural ingredients.

SPONSORED PRIZE:  

 SPONSORED PRIZE:  Foot Butter, Foot Scrub, and Spicy Caramel Body Set!
DIVA DISCOUNT:   Use "DIVAT" at checkout for a 25% discount on your order!

  

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SECRET FACEBOOK & TWITTER GIVEAWAY!

www.braceletmate.com

Want to win one of these super-cute, and super-convenient Bracelet Mates?!  Become a fan on the Diva Taunia Facebook Page OR follow on Twitter @divataunia to find out how to win! 

Each Bracelet-Mate® & Bracelet Plus® is beautifully hand-beaded. Besides the numerous design options available, what makes them truly unique is that the bracelet is attached to a mini wrist wallet capable of carrying your ID, credit cards, currency, lipstick and key. When worn, the wallet sits discreetly on the inside of your wrist, and can be worn on either wrist; you always know where your belongings are!

SPONSORED PRIZE:  One Bracelet Mate of your choice!

  

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Check back daily to see the latest sponsors and holiday giveaways!

NOMINATE SOMEONE NOW! The 1st Annual Backstage Pass Radio WLS Awards

The Annual Backstage Pass Radio WLS Awards will officially begin on the Monday preceeding Thanksgiving every year. This is a way to honor members of the Weight Loss Surgery Community for the impact they make, inspiration, volunteer work, resources, and more.

Diva Taunia, host of the Backstage Pass Radio Program, will announce the winners of the 1st Annual Backstage Pass Radio WLS Awards on Monday, 11/22 at 7pm EST.

All awards are nominated by and voted on by the WLS Community: that means YOU! :)

Nominate your favorite WLS community member or organization!

• Become a fan of the page and promote on your page
• Nominate someone via the "Discussions" tab, or suggest a nomination category

WLS E-BOOK: ONLINE RESOURCES (Need your help!)

If you have a few free minutes to spare, I'd love if you could help me out by taking this WLS survey below. Many thanks!

CARNIE WILSON AT THE EMMY'S

Ok, I realize this is a bit dated, but Carnie's here talking about her success on The Fresh Diet.  Melting Mama tried The Fresh Diet and raved about it - and I'm dying to try it out too!

7/1/10: WLS / GASTRIC BYPASS UPDATE - UH OH.