Ok, let's get something clear right out the gate: I am not, nor will I ever, be PREGNANT. That would be a miracle by the sweet baby Jesus himself for two reasons: 1) I'm almost FORTY and in peri menopause, and 2) Rob cannot make any babies anymore, you dig? So there. NOT. PREGNANT. But thank you so much for asking, really makes a fat girl feel good. :)
And speaking of fat, I guess there's no more pretending: yep, I gained weight. A lot of it. Back when I was sickest and at my lowest weight, all of my doctors told me they wanted me to put back 20 lbs. I did better: I gained almost 35. I weigh 170-ish lbs, and seeing that number on the scale KILLS ME.
The thing is, I'm not sure it's entirely my fault. (I mean, my guess is that the chips I've been devouring on a regular basis are not helping things.) Back in Jan/Feb, I was put on two new medications, one of which is known for rapid weight gain and bloat. It took me almost a year and half to get to the doctor's recommended 20 lbs, and it took me less than two months to put on the rest with the help of the meds. Yippee! I'm fat again!
When I hit 160 lbs, I felt good. I felt strong, and I felt voluptuous. Now? I just feel sluggish and fat. And I CANNOT. STOP. EATING. I'm hungry ALL THE TIME. And while I still have plenty of restriction, I also have almost ZERO intolerances and I can eat just about anything.
Take a gander at the regain process:
ME - CIRCA 2009, at my lowest (and sickest) weight:
ME - FEBRUARY 11, 2011 - LIKING MY WEIGHT AND MY BOD:
Granted, a lot of my weight gain is in my boobies, which Rob would argue is a good thing, but I HATE this weight. I'm terrified. I don't want to go back to 311 lbs, and I feel completely helpless. I dance DAILY. I'm exercising more than I ever have, and I'm only maintaining (barely). I can't stop eating, and I can't stop thinking about food constantly. It's all back, just in a smaller package.
I thought by ignoring it and taking pictures at good angles that no one would find out. That somehow I could magically take the weight off and no one would know. Well, having a very public wedding with a gazillion pics online will slap the truth right on to ya. I was called out as looking pregnant on my music page, and that there was a big dose of reality for me. So here it is: my admission, and it hurts and is hard for me, so don't make it worse...mmmmkay?
Accountability has always been my saving grace, so maybe "going public" about it will help me resolve it. I'm working with my doctors to adjust my medications, and I've got appts with my kidney specialists in the next few weeks, so maybe we'll figure some stuff out that will help. But you know what else will help? If I stop eating. Constantly.
God Bless, Rob. He puts up with my crazy, loves me at any weight, and supports me no matter what.
I'm just thankful for the other people before me that openly spoke and wrote about re-gain, so that I know I'm not alone and there is hope for conquering it. Thank you, you know who you are.
So here begins another very public battle with my weight....
Going to Vegas? If you pass up this deal, then you ARE CERTIFIABLY INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE!
Allison is practically GIVING away sexy photo shoots, and if you've always wanted a boudoir-style picture of yourself, here's your chance! Allison is also on Facebook HERE if you'd like to connect with her directly, but here are all the details you need, courtesy of the WLSFA.org website. So, go! Go now, and book thee some sexy time!
CONTACT INFO:
Allison and Andrea
Forever & Always Beautiful
www.ForeverAndAlwaysBeautiful.com
[email protected]
Allison Phone: 850-225-9196
$100 for hair, makeup, and photo shoot.
To include 3 outfit changes, a 45 minute shoot time, and 20 edited photos on disk.
Each photo and edit will be $2.50 there after.
Each extra outfit change will be $5
Good for the WLSFA Las Vegas Meet & Greet May 12-16, 2011 Only
Individual Shoot (for one person)
**Vegas sign up form and schedule**
$25 non-refundable deposit due at booking
Fellow WLS Peeps Allison Davis & Andrea Hickman or Forever & Always Beautiful will be offering Boudoir photo shoots during the Mother of All Meet & Greet!and they are donating 10% of the proceeds to the WLSFA. This is great opportunity to take those romantic, glamorous those photos you have always wanted!
Don’t have the money $$$ to pay for the photo shoot? We have GREAT NEWS! Forever & Always has Donated 1 Free photo Shoot to our Raffle! Click Here for Raffle details and buy a ticket TODAY!
http://www.foreverandalwaysbeautiful.com/index.html
**How to book a photo session
There is a $25.00 non-refundable booking fee.
**10% of all proceeds go back to the WLSFA to support their on going mission**
Click Here To Sign Up ONLINE!!!
You can also:
Call: 850-225-9196 And speak to Allison directly
Email: [email protected]
Shoots will be booked on a first come, first serve basis.
Please book early to reserve your preferred time slot.
Don’t want to miss any of the conference?
Choose a day before or day after the conference!
What you need to bring/how to:
What do I need to do after I book my appointment? What do I bring? What do I expect? Everyone is full of questions once they take the big step to booking an appointment.
At F.A.B. Photos this is what we need to make your shoot simply fabulous;
1) Bring your own foundation make-up. Creme or liquid is best. It’s already matched to your skin tone so we won’t have to search for your perfect color.
2) Bring your own mascara, preferably in black. Everyone knows its best not to share mascara, and the throw away brushes pump air and the bacteria it carries into the tube anyway. Why risk it?
3) Bring a set or two of false lashes. Any brand, any style. One more natural and one a little more fun. You may not want to bring Halloween style lashes, but if you really love them, we will do our best to make them work. This helps give your eyelashes a boost and make your eyes stand out a bit better in the photos.
4) Your outfit choices. Your choices speak to your tastes, and that of your mate. They should express what you and your significant other find appealing. Bring items that make you feel and look good. Bras, panties, corset sets, wedding veils and garters, baby dolls and thigh highs are all recommended. But boudoir isn’t limited to teddies and high heels. Sports jerseys, guitars, and snow gear is just as alluring to those that enjoy those past times! Let your imagination wander!
Clothing should all be tried on before you come to the shoot. For larger busted ladies its best to have great support around your bust so as you don’t have the shoulder straps cutting into your shoulders during the shoot (it doesn’t look pretty either). Try to vary the colors you choose, all your photos in black, white and red can be monotonous. Remember jewelry! Although we have a lovely selection of accessories, it doesn’t always make up for those beautiful pearls your honey gave you for your anniversary being left out of the pictures he unwraps on Christmas.. Shoes! High heels and boots of varying lengths are always a plus and not all shots will be with you on your back. Heels will give you some added definition in standing shots.
–
Allison and Andrea
Forever & Always Beautiful
www.ForeverAndAlwaysBeautiful.com
[email protected]
850-225-9196 -Allison
In our little world, our little community, I think I'm mostly considered a "good girl," and I'm glad. I really work hard to remain neutral, to stay out of disagreements, to work hard and to work towards a common goal. I think on the whole, I'm able to accomplish this. I don't like being wrapped up in drama, and I don't like to single people out and/or make any decisions ABOUT them based soly on online interactions. People are more than the words they write online, they are more than their opinions alone. And personally, I strive to like everyone equally until they give me a really solid reason not to.
So as I sat here getting heated about all the ridiculous antics going on, I realized that getting upset, that posting my opinions on Facebook, Twitter, etc. only fuel the fire. I don't want to participate in that behavior. I want people to speak and think freely, and to be able to that openly and with courage and passion. So my mission became instant: pledge to work together. This is primarily directed at the weight loss surgery and obesity community, but really? Anyone.
I want kindness, support, and unity in a cause to spread like wildfire just as quickly as gossip, backstabbing, and negative remarks. I want us to be unified, even in our differing opinions. That doesn't mean that we have to be in-love with everyone in the community, it just means that we have to "cease and desist" the crappy behind the scenes (and front lines)behavior - and that means YOU. And ME. Let's just stop this, because really? It's getting ridiculous, and blurring the lines of support, friendship, and activism.
TAKE THE PLEDGE:
I want to create an atmosphere where any of us can walk up to another and say hello, despite any differing opinions because we know that we are part of the same community. A community that is made up of good and bad experiences, but supported by all of us.
I know that some of you may view this as "pollyanaish", but I'm ok with being branded that if it gets people thinking and acting and paying more attention to promoting positivity in our community. Most of us have had a lifetime of hurt, why inflict more upon each other? We're human, we make mistakes - sometimes towards each other - but it's how we recover from those mistakes that matter.
"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now. " ~Author Unknown
Your actions matter, and mine do too. I'm signing the pledge below to promise to do my best to be respectful and supportive, and hope you do too to show your renewed commitment to respect each other. Share this on your wall and with your community if you agree. Pledge kindness, respect, and unity.
Cheers,
Taunia
This past weekend, I was an invited guest at the New York City for the Obesity Online event sponsored by Ethicon Endo-Surgery and the Obesity Action Coalition. Much has already been written about this from some of the other WLS peeps who were in attendance. I've personally held off on speaking publicly for a few days because I wanted to formulate my thoughts after sleeping on it, and reading the other comments and blog postings about it.
Last week, I posted a video for a WLSFA raffle that I'm holding, and I've done an entirely horrible job at promoting it. Therefore, I'm going to try "Fundraiser 2.0! New With More Prizes!"
Deadline to donate and enter: Sunday, April 10th - NOON, EST.
Winners announced by video: no later than Monday, Aprill 11th
(which leaves the winners one month to learn the choreography - yipee!)
Donate Now! There are two ways to win:
GRAND PRIZE:
Make a donation of $50 or more to the WLSFA, and have your name entered into a raffle to win 1 of up to 4 spots in the Diva Taunia Dolls Burlesque Show on Saturday night, May 14th! That's right, YOU can be a Vegas Showgirl (or guy)! You will be fully costumed and have you hair and makeup done, and will be sent video tutorials to be in our group song and dance number: "Show Me How You Burlesque" (from the movie Burlesque). If you are shy and don't want to perform, you can TRANSFER your winning prize to someone else - a talented friend or WLS peep that you want to see dancing and workin' their stuff in the show. How many times in your life can you say you performed in Vegas?! Donate now to be transformed into a Vegas Starlet!
Note: $50 (+)donations get an entry into both the Burlesque Grand Prize Raffle and the prize raffles below. Every $50 donation gets you another entry into both!
RAFFLE PRIZES:
Make a donation of $25 or more to the WLSFA, and you will be entered into a raffle to win one of these fantastic prizes below. More prizes will be added throughout the week, so keep an eye out on this page for updates!
Note: For every $25 you donate, you get an additional raffle entry!
RAFFLE PRIZE LIST:
Molded Cup Lace over Microfiber Bustier & Thong Set - Size XL in HOT PINK
Provided by: Delores at From the Heart Lingerie!
www.fromtheheartlingerie.com
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TWO BOTTLES + APPLICATOR OF FAMOUS DAVES SELF-TANNER!
Provided by: Dave at Famous Daves!
www.famousdavestanner.com
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Bali Two Tone 9mm Men's Ring - Size 10
Provided by: Stauer Smart Luxuries Jewelers
www.stauer.com
=====================================================
Free Corset & TuTu!
Provided by: Baci-Farfalle.com & KissesandButterflies.com
=====================================================
GIFT BOX OF CARNIE WILSON BOOKS, CDS, AND & WLS RESOURCES!
Provided by: Bariatric Advantage
www.bariatricadvantage.com
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GIFT BOX
Provided by: Celebrate Vitamins
www.celebratevitamins.com
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GIFT BOX - TWO GIVEAWAYS!
Hand Perfection Tube Hand Cream and Nail 7 Cuticle Cream!
www.handperfection.com
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My pal Donna has hooked me up with FIVE of these new BANJEES from Sprigs to give way as prizes. The perfect thing to take to Vegas - no carrying anything around! The designs are SUPER cute too! Lots of hot pink, so I'm happy. I'll review mine as soon as I get it, but if you're active and out and about, these are perfect!
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Rob just texted me and reminded me that today is my three year "surgiversary." I had completely forgotten. Three years ago today, I weighed over 300 lbs and had RNY (Roux-en-y) Gastric Bypass Surgery by Dr. Donald Hess at Boston Medical Center. It seems like a million years ago now, and timely to remember when I'm beating myself up about weight gain and self-discipline:
I'm out of the newbie stage. While I'm definitely still MUCH more in control of my weight than I was three years ago, I struggle daily with self-esteem, panic/anxiety, and eating issues. Still? I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat because quite frankly, I'm not sure I'd even be alive today if I hadn't had gastric bypass surgery.
The good: overall, I've maintained a 150+ lbs loss (depending on what week you ask me). I love salad, vegetables, soup, and healthy foods that I wouldn't have even considered three years ago. I hate soda, I won't touch it (save for the occassional Shirley Temple with extra cherries, which I still love). I sing and dance on stage now. I'm my own boss. I actually move my body with ease now, and I can dance (and choreograph!) - something I've always loved - for more than 5 seconds at a time without being winded. I've got a handsome and loving man, a great family, and I can wear a lot more super-cute clothes now.
The bad: I can eat a normal amount of food now - barely any restriction. I don't have any food intolerances (except for beef, which I sometimes can't digest). I struggle with panic and anxiety on a daily basis. (Note: I've always struggled with this, but it got worse post-surgery.) I've also gained back the dreaded post-surgery weight, and even though I had death breathing down my neck 20 lbs ago, I still beat myself up about that even though my brain knows I'm much healthier and stronger at this weight. The self-esteem and self-control issues were gone for almost two years, and panic set in when they returned. That has been the most difficult thing for me.
For the past three years, despite knowing that "the bad" was possible and most likely would return, I was still surprised when it happened to me. Most of the time I choose to focus on the good - because I'd be an ass if I didn't realize how much better my life is now, and how many good things I have in my life (and about my own self) to be happy about. I just want to be honest on this surgiversary date: it's not always happy-sunny-ville. It's work now. It's much more manageable work, but it's work.
So today, on this day when I woke up beating myself up - only to then reminded by man I love about how far I've come since 3/25/08 (He remembered what today was! I didn't). I promise you this for the next year: less beating myself up, more focus on my mental well-being, finding a balance between eating and eating well, and choosing to be positive. Always. Because the alternative isn't an option for me.
I also want to extend a HUGE thank you to all of my friends in (and out) of the WLS Community. Without you, I'd have no accountability, no support...and for that, I will be continually grateful. I know with the Burlesque show and wedding I've been a bit disconnected, but I'm plugging myself back in, and would love to see/talk/hang with you at either of these upcoming events I'll be attending:
April 14-15: I'll be joining some of my peers in New York City for an event sponsored by Ethicon Endo-Surgery and the Obesity Action Coalition. Ethicon Endo-Surgery or EES paid for my travel and incidentals so I can participate in their obesity online forum. Which you know, ROCKS (thank you for the nice little trip)!
May 13-15th: I'll be at the WLSFA Mother of All Meet & Greets in Las Vegas! I'm very, very excited about this 1) because I get to see my peeps 2) because I get to gamble and 3) because I get to perform on Saturday night and can add "Vegas Show Girl" to my resume. :)
We interrupt your regular blog reading for these pimpin' commercial breaks. Fo' shizzle.
I have lots of things to promote today, so rather than bombard with lots of individual Facebook entries, I thought I'd just wrap everything up in one tidy little blog entry. Mmmkay?
GROUPON: SIGN UP AND DIVA TAUNIA GETS 10 GROUPON BUCKAROOS:
You probably know by now that I only pimp-out things that I love. (I don't bother with negative advertisement, I'd rather be Suzy Sunshine. lol) I happen to LOVE Groupon, and they have some seriously kick-ass deals, like today's deal:
Sweet! I love The Garment District and uh, hello? PERFECT for costuming a Burlesque show. I have purchased, fo' sho.
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DIVA T NEEDS A HONEYMOON, YO!
I am a member of the Obesity Action Coalition, and they are currently running a membership drive to help them in their mission to raise awareness of the need for obesity education. Their current fundraiser is awarding a free trip to the person who recruits the most people. Uh, YES PLEASE! I need a honeymoon, yo! So go on, sign up, and tell them that Diva Taunia sent you in the member referral section! :)
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You ARE going to the Meet & Greet, aren't you?! I'm going to be there, along with a gazillion other WLS Peeps! Don't miss out on the great hotel deal, and book your tickets now before we sell out!
I'm going to be performing at the Saturday night event, so you may be able to catch some Diva Taunia Dolls Burlesque while in Vegas! ;)
INTERESTED IN BECOMING A SPONSOR OR EXHIBITING? CLICK HERE
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Last, but not least, if you haven't already gotten your tickets to the premiere performance for The Diva Taunia Dolls Burlesque "Valentine Vixens" show on February 11th, go! Buy your tickets NOW. We expect to be sold out by the end of next week, and it's standing room only, babycakes.
FEBRUARY 11th @ 9:00 pm EST
Gemstones, Lowell MA
150 Market St. (above The Blue Shamrock)
General Standing RoomTickets $25
General Seating: Standing Room Only. First-come, first-serve seating. VIP Booths are private closed-in areas away from the stage. (VIP Booths are currently SOLD OUT)
>Note: if you have any problems with the paypal icons below, you may also send ticket payment directly to [email protected]. Please note this address is not used for communications, only ticket payments. If you have any questions about your order, feel free to email us at [email protected]. Tickets are $25 a piece, and you may send a bulk payment for multiple tickets. Thanks!
PAY USING GOOGLE CHECKOUT:
We HIGHLY recommend purchasing your tickets in advance as we expect this show to SELL OUT BY 1/31/11 . GEMSTONES offers food and drink from 9:00pm-1:00am.
OUR VIP BOOTHS ARE SOLD OUT!
Thanks to Beth at www.meltingmama.net for posting this!
Oh A +E you're doing it to me again. I'm a fan of Intervention, it's one of the only shows I record. Last night I caught Storage Wars, sucked me right the hell in. (In fact, I stayed up and watched it while Mr. was long since drooling, and I asked him, while he slept, "Can we do this?")
Now this? THE DRAAAAAAAMA!
So dark. So DRAMATIC. So photoshopped.
Losing
Is
Their
Only
Hope.
<cue awful scary sad music> BY GOD! This had better not let me down! There had better be drama to match this ad. The previews didn't give any clue as to the "transformation" -- whether it be The Biggest Loser maniacal style OR "The Surgery" stories, maybe it's something absolutely different. But, since it's about transformations -- in a quick show -- I guess surgery. Whee
WLS & Music Diva! Professional Vocalist and Burlesque Performer, VP of PR for the WLSFA, Radio Host
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