This past weekend, I was an invited guest at the New York City for the Obesity Online event sponsored by Ethicon Endo-Surgery and the Obesity Action Coalition. Much has already been written about this from some of the other WLS peeps who were in attendance. I've personally held off on speaking publicly for a few days because I wanted to formulate my thoughts after sleeping on it, and reading the other comments and blog postings about it.
The problem is, I had an almost entirely opposite reaction to the conference than most of the attendees, and I'm still trying to sort out why. All of the conference attendees very generously(?) had their travel expenses paid for and were put up in the swanky Mondrian Soho hotel. Unfortunately, I slept through the first night of meeting and greeting, which I was told was lavish and had an open bar (open bar?!? damn my post-plane sleeping!). There was a lot of mingling and setting the tone for the "let's all get along and work together." I can't comment on that since I was snoozing away in my bed as everyone else shmoozed. (Note: I'm an insomniac and barely sleep - unless, of course, I *should* be awake at something important like, meeting your peers for the first time. Doh!)
I'm not going to lie: free trip? Count me in. If you're paying, I'm going. BUT. Does that mean that I'm obligated to write a entirely positive review? I hope not, because that's not what I'm about to do...
When I arrived at the official forum on Friday, I was alone and full of anxiety. Even though 90% of my life is made available for public consumption, one of the things I don't often speak about is my daily struggle with anxiety and panic. It's overwhelming. I can get up on a stage half-naked in a corset and sing my heart out, but to walk into a room and meet my peers is almost debilitating for me. It's something I struggle with on a daily basis, and I literally have to FORCE myself out of the house at times. It's frustrating because I logically and rationally know that I'm safe, but my body, brain, and heart still go straight to panic mode. So for me, walking into that room was incredibly difficult. But do you know what helped? Lynnda, Toni, and Mike from bariatrictv.com walked right over to me, gave me a giant hug, and welcomed me sitting with them in their row. Then Jill and Teresa did the same. (My huge thanks to everyone for being so friendly and welcoming!) My nervous were calmed, especially once I had a mouth full of bacon. (Yes, bacon.) Flying in on the same plane as Melting Mama helped as well. Especially as she laughed at me while I was searched by TSA.
Once I calmed down, I was able to start taking in what was going on around me. Clearly, everyone there was there for the same purpose: to discuss obesity, treatments, education, and resources. We all have a common purpose, a common desire to bring to light the challenges of morbid obesity. But I was confused: who was running this event? The Obesity Action Coalition was front and center, with Endo-Ethicon and Porter-Novelli also there:
- Endo-Ethicon is a subsidiary of Johnson & Johnson, and creators of the Realize Solution
- The WLSFA was not invited to this event. I'm not sure that anyone on the organizational side actually knew of my affiliation. (The invitation was sent to me through my radio program).
- One thing was clear: a LOT of money was spent on this event. More than I probably make in three year's time. I understand the concept of spend money to make money, but it felt almost obscene to me. Maybe it's an unfair assessment, but as someone who works pretty tirelessly as an unpaid advocate for weight loss surgery, obesity awareness, and positive self-image, I felt guilty. I felt guilty that my soon-to-be-husband is working 10 hours a day plus going to school and that we struggle on a daily basis to put food on the table and keep our bills paid. And yet? He supports me, my volunteer work, and my passions 100%.
But how could I enjoy this lavish treatment? I knew I was being courted, we all were. But here's the thing: my voice - our voice - is valuable. I realized this immediately when I looked around at the swanky hotel room, the lovely and delicious meals, and heard about the free open bar. It just seemed: obscene. I couldn't help but think, "if you're going to spend this much money on me to get me to support your cause (our cause), why not skip the royal treatment and buy some ad space on my blog? Or my radio program? Or my website? Why not help me help you? If we're working towards the same goal, and you clearly know the value of my websites, radio program, and social network, why not skip the fancy trip and work with me in a way that helps us all move forward? And most importantly, why is the WLSFA not invited? Of course, *I* accepted the trip, so I'm probably partially to blame for my own discomfort with the situation. (Truth be told, I almost didn't go, but that was because I was scared to go, and I'm trying with all my might to not let fear rule my life.)
But beyond that, I found some of the content upsetting. Let me be clear: I am going off of my memory here. I have asked to see or hear a transcript of the day to confirm my memory (which admittedly can be faulty at times), but no one has been able to provide that for me. I will mention that Joe Nadglowski (President/CEO of the Obesity Action Coalition) has been incredibly helpful and communicative in answering my questions.
The first thing that triggered a red flag for me is when patients were referred to as "consumers." I took serious issue with that as I looked around at all the expenses around me. Patients are not the same thing as consumers, and to refer to them as such is upsetting. It made me feel as though the conference was a bit disingenuous. It was clear there was a huge advertising campaign going on here, but the mission behind it was now starting to get a bit murky.
The next thing that troubled me: a response to the lovely Teresa Dunn when she asked about Food Addiction. If my memory serves me correctly, I believe that Dr. Blackstone's answer was that there IS no such thing as food addition. Part of me agrees with that, but only because I don't think addiction needs to be qualified. I think addiction is addiction. It is compulsive, reactive behavior - something I've also struggled with my entire life. Her response upset me, because I think it's a common thought process in the weight loss surgery medical community. I had no idea how much I would struggle with this post-surgery, and how the compulsive behavior was transferred from food to pills to wine and then back to food. I almost felt a bit ashamed when she spoke. What is wrong with me? Then I was enraged, because this is too often swept under the rug and NOT talked about. And I know, I'm absolutely sure, that I am NOT the only person who struggles with this. Dealing with addictive behavior HAS to be discussed more often, it HAS to be brought to the forefront in order for any post-op to be successful. I'm not a medical professional, true, but I am someone who lives this daily. (Important to note: Dr. Blackstone's statements were her own, and not necessarily the view of the OAC.)
I also knew that at some point, the Realize Solution was going to be discussed and it was...but in a very subtle way. We were told about Tracy, a mom of four with a mission to lose weight. They didn't mention that she was partnered with the Realize Solution (thank you for the correction, Andrea!), only that was should support her in her journey. I'm happy to support anyone in their mission for a healthy life, but not happy to be an unpaid part of Endo-Ethicon's/Realize promotional campaign.
All of this being said, I did walk away with a lot of positive as well. First, it was wonderful meeting many of my online friends and peers for the first time. Despite my panic and anxiety, it was incredible putting online names and faces to real people. The Obesity Online event provided an avenue for us to all meet where we may not have otherwise had the opportunity. That alone is worth mentioning because it only serves to help us become stronger in our united goals.
A highlight for me during the conference was meeting Colleen Cook. When I was first researching weight loss surgery, hers were some of the first books that I read and the information I found in them helped me make a more educated decision. Her "Success Habits of WLS Patients" should be required reading for anyone going through the weight loss surgery journey.
I was also reminded of the many, many wonderful things that the Obesity Action Coalition is doing. They are constantly advocating for the obese, bringing to light many issues in the news and working on the behalf of the patients. Their website provides a plethora of information, resources, educational tools and support. I am a member, and do highly encourage others to be as well:
I met many wonderful people as well, and I will steal Beth's list of bloggers and WLS peeps:
- Diva Taunia http://www.divatauniablog.com/
- Melting http://www.meltingmama.net
- Andrea Ullberg http://www.wlsvitagarten.com
- Kaitlin Nelson http://www.thebypassedlife.com
- Michelle Vicari http://www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com
- Dave Fouts http://www.chefdave.org
- Teresa Dunn http://teresajourneyshome.wordpress.com/
- Jill Harris http://jellosjourney.blogspot.com/
- Michelle Schiener http://vsgmom.com/
- Toni Towe http://www.bariatrictv.com
- Michael Towe http://www.bariatrictv.com
- Lynnda Shepherd http://www.bariatrictv.com
- Susan Maria Leach http://bariatriceating.com/SMblog/
- Barbara Thompson http://www.wlscenter.com/
- Rachel Lebowitz http://bariatricrevisionary.blogspot.com/
- Colleen Cook http://colleencook.com/
- Cari DeLaCruz http://www.bariatricafterlife.com/
- Yvonne McCarthy http://www.bariatricgirl.com/
- Emily Gomez http://weightlosthopegained.wordpress.com/
- Laura Preston http://mydailydetour.typepad.com/
- Maria Fitzpatrick http://www.formerlyfluffy.com/
(Please let me know if I am missing anyone!)
I'm well aware of what a delicate balancing act it is to promote vs. advocate. For me as a one-Diva operation, I struggle with that at times. My issues stem from the feeling of being taken advantage of by a large and powerful company with lots of financial backing, and unfortunately, that was the bad taste that was left in my mouth. I don't want to take anything away from the powerful advocacy that can happen when a group like this comes together, but I also don't want to feel duped. I will work tirelessly for a cause I believe in, but for the cause, not the company. My voice is valuable, and so is that of my peers. This, I know.
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